Last updated: May 26, 2025
Red Bull Gives You Wings. This Drink Hands You the Parachute.
One extremely jittery writer’s accidental descent into the world of kava-powered calm.
Words by
Harper Quinn
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Published on: March 29, 2025
The Crash-Landing That Started It All
At 34, I’d perfected the 3 p.m. double-shot + energy-drink cocktail—the kind that makes Slack notifications sound like a rave horn. Unfortunately, it also turned my evening brain into wet cement. After one especially twitchy Tuesday (I typed “best regrads” in five separate emails), I decided my wings needed a graceful way to land.
Stat I wish I’d read sooner: 65 % of Gen Z and nearly half of all Americans plan to cut back on booze and high-octane stimulants in 2025.
Translation: it’s not just me clutching my chest like a Victorian ghost when the caffeine crash hits.
🪂 Meet My “Parachute”: A Neon-Pink Powder Called Good Mood Mix
A designer friend slid a pastel stick across our co-working table. “Think Red Bull, but… zen,” she said.
Ingredients I Googled Immediately:
250 mg kava root extract (aka the chill molecule)
Velvet bean extract.. interesting
Low sugar, zero booze, tastes like a vacation mocktail
Did I trust her? Honestly, she still types with two fingers. But curiosity > skepticism.
The Four-Day Descent
Day 1: "The Skeptic"
Earthy taste, gentle tingle. No instant “HULK CALM.”
Day 2: “Is This Placebo?”
Spreadsheet focus ↑, heart-racing jitters ↓
Day 3: The Chill Goblin
Realized I hadn’t doom-scrolled since lunch. Wild.
Day 4: The Convert
Slept seven hours straight. Seven.
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But…Isn’t Kava That Weird Root From TikTok?
Sort of. South-Pacific islanders have sipped it ceremonially for 3,000 years. Modern scientists say kavalactones nuzzle GABA receptors—the same chill switch Valium hits, but without the zombie hangover. (Mayo Clinic gives kava a cautious thumbs-up for short-term anxiety relief—just don’t mainline it like espresso shots.)
And remember that booming non-alc trend? NielsenIQ says low-and-no sales are exploding at 31 % YOY. In other words: the world is quietly trading wings for parachutes.
Five Things I Noticed After a Week
No Sugar Crash – My 5 p.m. cravings downgraded from “entire vending machine” to “maybe an apple.”
Focus, But Smooth – Like cruising at 30 mph instead of drag-racing the Autobahn.
Socially Acceptable to Sip at 9 a.m. – HR can’t side-eye your neon tumbler.
My Fitbit Says Hi – Resting heart rate dipped three beats. Could be placebo, could be magic root juice; I’ll take it.
I’m (Slightly) Less Snarky – My group chat has the receipts.
Wait—Am I Telling You To Buy This?
PSYCHEDELIC's best-selling Good Mood Mix
No hard sell, promise. This isn’t Times Square. I’m just a reformed caffeine-gremlin reporting back from the chill side of the fence. If the idea of landing softly instead of crash-burning appeals to you, the mix is easy to find—Amazon, health-food aisles, probably that trendy bodega that also sells CBD dog biscuits.
Worst case: you get a pastel-colored placebo and some Instagrammable foam. Best case: you join the 2025 wave of humans swapping wings for parachutes and actually enjoy the ride back to earth.
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Disclaimer: I’m a writer, not your doctor. Pregnant, nursing, or have liver issues? Talk to a pro before you dive into root-based euphoria. In the meantime, I’ll be over here sipping my sunset-pink tonic, typing emails at a humane pace—and spelling “regards” correctly.
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